Friday, 22 May 2009

Star Trek capsule review - "NERD!!!!!"

I have no idea what was going on in this film. There was entirely too much lens flare, jerky camera work, visual effects maelstrom, and extreme close-up idiocy going on for me to make out anything of what was supposed to be happening. You'd think a big budget film like this could have afforded a steadycam and a couple of long lenses...

All bitching about the absurdly bad cinematography aside, I have to say I wasn't greatly impressed by yer man Abram's "Star Trek" reboot. The casting was good-to-excellent (exception: Simon Pegg in full-bore "Did anyone order a large ham?" mode). The acting was...workmanlike. The FX was up to the usual high standard of the Hollywood eye-candy machine. The cameos and in-jokes were acceptable, but uninspired.

However (and this is a but worthy of a place in Monument Valley): the fridge logic of the plot was the worst since "X-Men 3". Hey, wait a second Mr angry vengeful Romulan dude (who I'm sure we already saw in "ST:Nemesis"). You know there's a supernova destined to destroy your homeworld centuries hence; why not use the phlebotium bomb in your ship to become a pre-emptive hero by beating Spock to it - by centuries? No? Ok. I'll leave my brain at the door for this one, shall I?

"Star Trek" works best when it is about the mystery, grandeur and wonder of space travel. This film was a workmanlike rehash of "Wrath of Khan" and little else.

rating: 2 phasers (out of 5)


  1. I just saw it tonight and had much the same thoughts. I really like Eric Bana and think he's a fine actor; this villain was an utter waste of his talent. Boring, clearly not very bright, and not all that scary either.

    Also, what on earth was with all the scenes of Kirk getting beaten up or chased? I mean, I know Kirk has always traditionally been beaten up and chased, but this took the biscuit.

  2. I have not seen this movie, and I don't intend to. Maybe I'll watch it when it makes it to network tv, if I don't have anything to do at the time. As with D&D, I'm Old Guard regarding Trek. I'm excluding Abrams Trek from my personal continuity. The same as Enterprise and it's Gawd-awful filker theme song.
    I like your blog,man.

  3. Interesting. First bad review I have read so far. I am looking forward to seeing this.

  4. Oh gosh. I was lukewarm to the film (the "let's cheer as Kirk kills helpless men" ending rubbed me the wrong way), but I hadn't spotted that particular logic hole, which now you mention it, torpedoes the whole, er, enterprise.


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